The Student Elimination Process | Junior Outrage| Rational Outrage

Home Legal Outrage Earthly Outrage Political Outrage Junior Outrage Cultural Outrage Just Plain Stupid

The Onion Store - Free Shipping on orders of $50 or more.

We Are Not Alone

Outside Outrage

We're not the only ones who are outraged - here are some outside outrages that caught our eye!

Are Your Kids Safe From Predators At School?
The short answer is no. Ohio schools are 100% immune from any liability if any school employee or volunteer molests your child at school, on the bus, a field trip, or anywhere on a school function.
Dell Lies Exposed
Dell technicians refuse to honor warranty and blatantly lie about "spill damage."
Mentally and Physically Disabled Man Locked in Bus Overnight
Bus driver Linda Hockaday was late for church, that's her excuse for locking a man with the capacity of a two year old inside a bus and leaving him there in the bitter cold for 19 hours while his family searched for him.
Boy falls from bridge, breaks back, then tasered by cops!
Teenage boy on the ground with a broken back is tased up to 19 times to "get him under control" and "keep him from getting hurt", delaying emergency surgery by two days.
Keeping America Safe from...Australians
Internet dating at its worst leads to detention and deportation.
And You Thought Tasers Were Bad...
Instead of using Taser guns, police in Nashville (and other cities) now inject "unruly" subjects with an amnesia-inducing sedative. That's legal, right?
Big Bad Texas Cop Murders Teacup Poodle
“Chill out, it’s just a dog, you can buy another one.”
NYPD's 'Operation Sentinel' To Track EVERYTHING
NYC is going to install cameras to track EVERY vehicle that enters Manhattan.
Unlikely Suspect Charged With Murder
A young man is in jail for murder because he defended his home. Now the prosecutor wants to up the charges to seek the death penalty against him.
No Cancer Treatment For You!
Immigration authorities allegedly denied a man treatment for cancer saying that a biopsy is an "elective procedure."
Cut the Drama
Is our biggest problem not being able to post anything we want, anywhere we want? Honestly. I hope so.
4-Year-Olds Handcuffed
These little criminals refused to take a nap.

Recent Outrage

User Login

The Student Elimination Process

Written by Tori Sanders, age 12

Tuesday, 18 March 2008 02:11

Hey! Have you ever wondered what goes on at your child’s school? Believe it or not they don’t teach them to spell school s-k-o-o-l and they don’t tell them how to survive in the world. No, they teach them about how to avoid danger. Everyone remembers the long school assemblies about “stranger danger”, but little did we know the “trusted staff” was increasing the risk of stranger danger.

I know, I know, that’s ridiculous, right? So here is exactly what happened: Before my mom began working from home I took the bus to my grandmother’s house. Now let’s remember this is bus full of sixth, seventh, and eighth graders. So one day the bus driver says there were way too many people on the bus and that some of them have to get off. If there were kids on that bus that didn’t belong I didn’t see them.

A minute later we were back at my school and the principal (the woman who signed the information letters about the kidnapping attempt that morning) was climbing the steps of the bus. She starts telling people who usually ride the bus that they have to get off and start walking home. Then she said that if our bus came back to the school everyone was getting off! Now does it seem to you like this is a good system? The people getting off the bus all have the kidnapping attempt letters in their back packs! This isn’t a good idea.

So the second time that there is a kidnapping attempt the principal comes over the intercom and says no matter what happens, no one is allowed back inside after they leave. Sounds like a good plan—if they’re trying to cut down on the number of children in the school!

So if you were one of these children’s parents what would you do?

Set as favorite

Bookmark

Email This

Trackback(0)

TrackBack URI for this entry

Comments (3) Add Comment

Subscribe to this comment's feed

The lost kid
written by Bobby, November 06, 2009

u is so f**king gay

-1

The lost kid
written by Bobby, November 06, 2009

u is so f**king gay

...
written by COOKIE DOE, November 06, 2009

I WOULD TELL MY KIDS TO NOT LISTEN TO WAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY AND DONT DO WHAT THEY TELL YOU. WALK AWAY IF THEY TOUCH YOU BEAT THEY A**ES! BE YOURSELF AND U SHOULD ALREADY KNOW WHAT TO DO IF YOU YOU DONT KNOW THAT PERSON.

Write comment

One Minute Outrage - Political

Issue: Nations around the world join forces to put an end to the use of cluster bombs because of the high incidence of civilian injury and death--sometimes long after the conflict is over. But the United States, like Russia, China and Israel, refuses to sign the treaty.

Impact: The United States further abdicates the role of world leader, while still clinging stubbornly to the title. The continued use of cluster bombs is bad enough, but far worse is the message to the world that force by any means necessary is the way to go--and the path to be chosen by the largest and most powerful nations on earth.

Read More: US Joins China and Russia in Rejecting Cluster Bomb Ban

One Minute Outrage - Earthly

Issue: A blind couple is prosecuted for employing a commonly accepted method of composting in their own garden.

Impact: Your tax dollars at work making life difficult for people with the audacity to grow vegetables--and an apparent legal preference for chemical fertilizers over organic matter that might actually help the environment.

Read More: Gardener Threatens Public Safety with Compost

One Minute Outrage - Legal

Issue: Police departments in major cities across the country aren't content to arrest self-made criminals, but have decided to hit the streets and see whether they can create some more.

Impact: Time and tax dollars poured into sting operations designed to test ordinary people and create crimes that would never have been; meanwhile, who's minding the store? Hundreds of thousands of unserved felony warrants lie inactive across the country while police experiment in subways, department stores and on streetcorners.

Read More: Make Your Own Criminal – It's So Much Easier than Chasing the Real Ones

One Minute Outrage - Cultural

Issue: A disabled child is left to die by a negligent mother, and the people charged with her protection stand by and let it happen; sadly, Danieal Kelly is only one example of the wide-ranging failure of the systems that are supposed to keep our children safe.

Impact: The impact on this particular child was a slow and painful death, and she is not alone. Right now, as you're reading this, other children are living in similar circumstances; other parents and caseworkers are ignoring their needs and waiting for someone else to do something. The most helpless among us will not survive unless we all step up and do our part--and insist that others do theirs.

Read More: Disabled Child Left to Die by Mother, Social Workers

Sex Offender Registration / Residency Restrictions Do More Harm than Good

sex offender registration

Fifteen years ago, the mother of a kidnapping victim had a good idea--an idea that made a lot of sense. That idea involved the creation of a registry for use by law enforcement to track child molesters. Soon other states got on the bandwagon, and the classes of crime included in the registries mushroomed. Then those registries were shared with the public, voluntarily or under legal mandate. And then the public found out that there were sex offenders down the block (never mind that those "sex offenders" might have urinated outdoors after too much to drink late one night or had sexual relationships with girlfriends just a few years younger than themselves after they'd crossed the line into adulthood), and we didn't like it. New state laws cropped up across the country restricting where convicted sex offenders could live, and now, we're finally seeing the fruits of those frantic efforts. States are spending tens of millions of dollars to attempt to keep convicted sex offenders in stable places where they can be tracked, and losing the battled. Homelessness has skyrocketed among convicted sex offenders, and with it, the rate of recidivism.

Back to the top